Well, if you've visited this page before you might notice some changes. Hee Hee. I was cyclically challenged one day and Sunshine sent me an e-mail saying something like "I just can't get through the day without you forwarding me one of those phucking e-mails with 500 addresses" and it just struck me the wrong way so I deleted her page and everything related to her page. I had saved all of the html for her page on a disk in case something ever happened and I needed to do it again but I guess in my fit of rage I deleted that too. So...now I get to do it all over again from scratch. DAMMIT. (Teach me to get mad and delete some shite, won't it? LOL.)
Anyway, Sunshine and I have made up cause I sent her a mushy card reminding her of how irrational I can be at times and I reckon we got over it. Except she ain't so forthcoming with the opinons anymore. I was telling her about a problem I'm having now and when I asked for her opinion she said "no comment" because "the last time I expressed myself you got pissed off".
TELL ME WHAT YOU FEEL, SUNSHINE.
Don't be afraid. I've learned my lesson. Even if I get pissed off again I won't delete your page anymore cause I don't feel like doing this shite a third time, LOL.
This is what Sunshine looks like. And that's 2 of her 3 kids in the pic with her. Ali (not my friend Ali, this is ANOTHER Ali) and Kip. Sunshine's pretty cute, isn't she? She's been taking Tae Kwon Do for a while now so she's really proud of her tight ass, LOL.
I met Sunshine about...6 years ago. I was interviewed for a job by her. I got the job and we worked together for about a year.
When I first met her I thought she was a ho. Not just because she wore short skirts, but because her husband (I'll tell you about that mother phucker in a second) used to call and say he was her boyfriend. So I thought she had something going on the side. Anyway, we got to be really tight.
Before I continue with Sunshine's story, let me take a minute to tell you about Sunshine's ex-husband. A bigoted, idiotic, spineless bastard who abuses people who are smaller and weaker than he is.
His name is Chris Tallent. If you ever meet a guy who kinda looks like Billy Ray Cyrus and his name is Chris Tallent then kick his ass. I'll pay you, man. I swear to God. I never liked this guy. It cause a lot of problems for me and Sunshine when she was married to him because I used to tell her exactly what I thought of the punkass. She loved him, though, and she wanted me to support her decision to be married to him in spite of the way he treated her. I won't go into that right now. Let me just say that I could not be happier that a beautiful, intelligent and gracious woman like Sunshine is no longer married to that worthless piece of gutter trash.
The reason I'm telling you about this guy is because he slapped their daughter this weekend when he had her for visitation. The police would not arrest him because he didn't leave any marks????? Regardless of what you may have read on the rant page, I don't find child abuse amusing or acceptable. This guy is over 6 feet tall, their daughter is about 8 years old. You know she had to be scared and shocked when this big man (who was probably drunk) slapped her across the face.
Sunshine has 3 kids, so she can't kill him like I know she wants to. But, uh, ain't nothing stopping me. I got one kid. And if I can't get Johnny Cochran to get me off the murder charge then I know Sunshine will raise my son to be a responsible citizen while I'm in prison. (Hell, if I go to prison I might even be getting sexed up on a regular basis. I saw that Primetime Live expose on the prison guards who have sex with the inmates....hmmmmm.)
So that's the story about Chris Tallent, abuser of innocent children. I'd give you his address and phone number but he lives in a 12x12 shack in the woods with no electricity so...you'll just have to catch him out in public if you want to phuck him up. If I can get a picture of him I'll post it so you won't go beating up the wrong guy, LOL.
I talked to Sunshine today (12/30/98 - my son's 3rd birthday WHOOOOO HOOOOO) and she told me "You NEED to put more stuff on MY page" So I will try and remember the story of how she ruined her brother's wedding. Hee Hee
First let me identify the key players:
Fat Sister (FS) - the matronly figure of honor
Stupid Sister (SS) - A none-too-bright bridesmaid
Ugly Sister (US) - A facially challenged bridesmaid
Dad - Sunshine's Dad
Mom - Sunshine's Mom
Pony - The Groom, Sunshine's brother
Uva Bruva (UB) - Sunshine's other brother
Kip - Sunshine's youngest child.
Now this little episode happened on October 31st of this year. I have slept since then so I don't remember all of the details and I don't remember who exactly did what, but I'm sure Sunshine will correct me if I'm wrong.
It all started when Mom and Dad were setting up the tables for Pony's reception. Mom had had a beautiful Alabama cake made, and FS had had an ugly azz Tennessee cake made. So US threatens to put the TN cake on top of the Alabama cake. Dad said "Now, I don't normally hit women, but Mom paid a lot of money for that cake and if you ruin it I will bust you in yo grill" (or something like that)
So US calls Dad a stupid motherphucker or something like that and Sunshine hears it and throws her up against the wall an says "Don't you talk about my Daddy like that." She's about to punch US when SS and FS come in. One of them grabs her arm and holds it to keep Sunshine from hitting US and the other one sticks her finger in Sunshine's face. And I don't remember if Dad slammed the TN cake on top of US's car before or after she called him a sombitch. But...Dad threw the TN cake on top of US's car at some point.
Anyway, Mom comes in and tells Sunshine to calm down or she'll ruin Pony's big day. So Sunshine backs off but promises all 3 sisters that it ain't over and she'll see them after the wedding.
The wedding goes through and they're all at the reception. All during the reception, all the sisters (fat, ugly and stupid) are making snide remarks to and about Sunshine's family.
This is where it starts to get foggy for me. But I think Sunshine got tired of waiting for Pony to leave for his honeymoon and she tells her kids to get in the car and she goes to get her coat or something. FS says "Oh, you're leaving? Good!" and then slams the door ON Sunshine's face. Not in her face, but actual contact was made between Sunshine's face and the door. So of course this pisses Sunshine off and she busts down the door and starts punching FS's face left and right. FS starts screaming "OH! Somebody help me!! She's crazy!!" At which point Sunshine starts laughing but punches FS in the stomach just to keep her quiet anyway. There are plenty of people standing around watching this ass whuppin, but nobody steps in except for FS's husband. He grabs Sunshine and throws her against the wall or something so Sunshine punched him in the face. She said this is when his glasses broke. I said "You mean, when you broke his glasses?" and she said "Nah, my fist was in motion and his face was at rest. His glasses broke against his face. That's simple high school physics there."
So after FS's husband gets his nose broken she goes back to beating up on FS. I don't know how it broke up eventually, but the next thing I remember Sunshine's out in the parking lot screaming "Damn! I broke a nail, I'm sending you the bill for my manicure, bitch!" and "I had to get Ugly Sis and Fat Sis today cause they're out of town, but Stupid Sis is local. I'll get you at the Thanksgiving family dinner!" Kip is standing in the parking lot doing the cabbage patch dance singing "Go Momma, Go Momma"
So FS is threatening to press charges and Dad's like "Well, she knows tae kwon do. All she did today was rearrange your face a little bit, which is a vast improvement, but if you have her arrested it will only piss her off and next time she whups your ass there won't be anybody to pull her off of you." So FS decides not to press charges. (Duh). FS's husband thinks he's going to go after Sunshine. That's when Uva Bruva says "Man, first of all she'd probably kick your ass, second of all if you touch my sister I will definitely kick your ass." and Dad tells FS's husband "Boy, you lay on finger on my daughter and I'll put a bullet in your head." So, FS's husband decides to stay put (Double Duh)
Oh, I forgot to mention that Sunshine had stitches in her hand from some other brawl she'd been in. When she started beating up FS she busted the stitches. When she went to the ER the dr told her that her hand was busted too badly to be stitched up again and it would just scar that way.
I think that's it....but isn't that enough?
Things I know about Sunshine
She takes Tae Kwon Do
She's 5'5" and tiny as hell but she'll kick anybody's ass
She's 56 years old but only looks 25.
She got 3 kids and they're all as crazy as she is. (I think that's why I like 'em)
She's generous to a fault.
She's trusting to a fault.
She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt until they prove her wrong.
She got da hots for me.
She's a super freak. (Rick James wrote that song about her, man.)
She has an IQ of 175 or some ridiculous number like that which qualifies her as a genius. (I think she even has a MENSA card).
She's a natural redhead.
She awes me with her talent for revenge. (I wish I could tell you some of THOSE stories but I don't want to get her arrested.)
She smokes cigars.
She knows more ebonics that I do.
She's a freak. (Have I mentioned that already?)
She loves children and would have a bakers dozen if she could afford them. (She's CRAZY!!) Our deal is that if I ever win the lottery I'm opening up a daycare center and she gets to run it. Plus I'm paying off her all her bills but...that's the usual.
If I die she's raising my son. (If she dies, however....uh, her kids are living with grandma or something man. I don't have the patience, LOL.)
She loves me. With all of my mood swings and bitchiness and occassional "blonde" moments, she really loves me.
She's the funniest person I've ever met.
She's the only person I've ever met who's nearly as twisted as I am.
She's very loyal.
I don't think she's afraid of anything.
She drinks beer...cause she likes it????
She's a HUGE U of Alabama football fan. (She just told me she owns a U of A football newsgroup that has over 2500 subscribers)
When she's pregnant she'll eat ANYTHING. Including day old refrigerator cold mexican food with coagulated grease sitting right on top.
She's seen me naked. (No details, so soddy. LMAO)
She's got tiny feet. It's disgusting, I don't even know how she stands on those thangs.
I want to be like her when I grow up.
Sunshine and Hunny Bunny
Well, I'm done for now. Ciaocito babeeeeeeeee! LOL
